Application and CV bloopers
It’s really amazing the stupid mistakes people can make when looking for a job. We never cease to be bowled over by people’s comical mistakes, blunders and slip-ups.
So we’re all in agreement – getting a job in today’s society is tough, no matter how old you are. You can hand out CV after CV and not get so much as a phone call saying ‘no’. Was it because you weren’t right for the job? Or perhaps because your CV was just a laughing stock, here are a few examples of some of the funniest errors made on a resume to make you feel a lot better about yours and simple rules to follow so you don’t make the same mistake.
Rule 1: Check, check and check again!
Make sure if you get someone to proofread, you get rid of their notes! One woman sent her resume and cover letter without deleting someone else’s editing, including such comments as “I don’t think you want to say this about yourself here.”
This is why you should always read through your CV time and time again, or you may find yourself writing that your best skill is your attention to detail…twice!
Rule 2: Leave the art attack at home!
So you were a bit of a whizz at art when you were a kid? That’s not an invitation to draw on your CV, leave the stick men and animals drawings off – unless you’re trying to a get a job as an artist, but that’s what a portfolio is for.
One candidate for a job drew a car on the envelope of her CV and said it was the hiring manager’s gift. As nice as this idea was, I don’t think it was quite enough to get them hired.
Rule 3: Don’t take the questions on applications too literally!
You may need to include standard information such as name, date of birth or contact information. Two candidates believed that these simple questions should be taken very literally and of course, gave us and the hiring manager quite a lot to laugh about.
On the line asking what ‘sex’ the person was, one man (who was clearly a very open individual) wrote “occasionally.” On another application, a person was asked how large his old department was in his last company; their answer was “3 storeys.”
Rule 4: Avoid the painfully obvious!
If an application wants to know more about you as individual or your contact information, try to avoid writing that your emergency contact phone number is 999!
And if you are English, born and bred – speaking fluent English may not be that much of an accomplishment but it’s better than writing: “Fluent in English. Also I have been heard muttering Gibberish in my sleep.” As one woman seemed to think was worthwhile noting.
Rule 5: Grammar Check!
No one’s asking you to check through every single word but correct grammar and punctuation can save a lot of funny misunderstandings.
For example, writing: “Let’s eat, Grandma” we see this as a harmful dinner with all the family, on the other hand, if someone was to say “Let’s eat Grandma,” this would be the time to run away as the punctuation implies that these people are cannibals!
Value the use of grammar, correct spelling and punctuation in your CV or you may end up making the same mistake as these people:
– “Worked in a consulting office where I carried out my own accountant”
– “Spent several years in the United Sates Navel Reserve”
– “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details”
If you seriously want to get hired, make sure you don’t imitate any of these application disasters and follow these very simple rules carefully. They could be the difference between a job offer and people mocking your intellect on a website for their own entertainment!